The .plan
What follows is an erratic jog through my brainspace, consisting mostly of stuff stolen from other people's siglines (which i therefore can't use for my own, you see). Real old-school unix geeks might understand why this is called the .plan.

  The story you are about to see is a fib. But it's short.   --mathnet


Somewhere there's danger.  Somewhere there's injustice.  Somewhere
else, the tea's getting cold.  Come on, Ace.  We've got work to do.
	  				--the doctor (sylvester mccoy)

 You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours.  When you 
truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are 
  fierce with reality.		-- flonda scott maxwell

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody
tell you different.		-- kurt vonnegut

 The border between the Real and the Unreal is not
       fixed, but just marks the last place where rival
   gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill.	  --robert anton wilson

"Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical
mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on
the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn to study
statistical mechanics."				--david l. goodstein

  It is insufficiently considered that men more often require to be
reminded than informed.					--samuel johnson

She taught him the hidden dharma of playing catch with a rubber ball,
and the veiled mystery of games of tag. 	--mahabharata (rishyasringa)

	We have them just where they want us.	--james tiberius kirk

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.	--hunter s. thompson

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. 
 He really is an idiot.		 --groucho marx

whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
boldness has genius, power and magic in it. 	--johann von goethe

   The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
			--alfred adler (austrian psychologist, 1870-1937)
 
Make up your minds that happiness depends on being free, and freedom
depends on being courageous.		--pericles of athens
  
    The thickness of the proposal required to win a multimillion dollar
    contract is about one millimeter per million dollars.  If all the
    proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other
    at the bottom of the Grand Canyon it would probably be a good idea.
					       --norman augustine

I think that when the aliens come they will look like us, talk like us and 
think like us.  We'd better have some bloody big guns waiting for them.
					--b.liddicott@ic.ac.uk

Complete possession is proved only by giving. All you are unable to give
possesses you. 				-- andre gide

"We reserve the right to do the absolute minimum provided by law, up to
 and including nothing.  This is basically the same disclaimer that comes
 with a large number of software packages but this is in plain English and
 the rest are in legalese.  We didn't really want to include any disclaimer
 at all but our lawyers made us." -- andrew.cmu.edu anon-ftp disclaimer


"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went
  a lot faster with two people digging." 	--mister boffo

  Constitutional government should work like fairy lights in a swamp --
  luring the ambitious and immiring them in its bogs. 	--jim henley

Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely
   powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is
   deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.	--andrew lias

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and 
to do good is my religion. 			-- thomas paine (1737-1809)

Beware the man of one book.	-- st. thomas aquinas

	To accomplish our destiny it is not enough merely to guard
	prudently against road accidents. We must also cover before
	nightfall the distance assigned to each of us.	--alexis carrel

If you add a teaspoon of wine to a barrel of sewage, you get sewage.
 If you add a teaspoon of sewage to a barrel of wine, you get sewage.
 This, my son, is entropy.		--anonymous

                "Eat me."    --lewis carroll

  I've gone to hundreds of fortune-tellers' parlors, and have been told
thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting
 ready to arrest her.			--a New York City detective

 Here in Germany, we don't have revolutions until things have gotten so 
  bad that the revolution can be announced on official placards posted up
   on all street corners by the police.   -- German deputy, Nov. 1917

I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories,
and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the
tone of scorn or pity with which 'Escape' is now so often used.... Why
should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out
and go home?  Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics
than jailers and prison-walls?
			--j.r.r. tolkien, 'on fairy-stories'
			    andrew lang lecture, univ. of st. andrews 1938

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was
convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
				--groucho marx (1895-1977)

It's good to have double standards, in case one of them breaks.
					--thomas kettenring

 An intellectual is a person who has discovered something 
more interesting than sex.		-- aldous huxley

	Come to think of it, there already are a million monkeys on a million
  	typewriters...and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare...
				--blair houghton

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.	--mark twain

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time
to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.	--oscar wilde

   "Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking
   educated people seriously."		--g.k. chesterton

"USENET is not a right."
"USENET is a right, a left, a jab, and a sharp uppercut to the jaw. The
  postman hits!  You have new mail."	--ed vielmetti & chip salzenberg

    Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea--
  massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, 
and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
					--gene spafford, spaf@cs.purdue.edu

Cthulhu 2000! -- Why Vote for the Lesser Evil?	--anonymous

     They're inhabitants of alt.tasteless . . . where they march to a 
   decidedly different drummer, and, when they're done marching, usually 
 shoot him.				--dave ratcliffe

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring
the deadening effect of a habit. 	--william somerset maugham

	My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, 
	    crime, cruelty, soft music. 	--vladimir nabokov

Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about
their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their
feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.	--deborah tannen

   Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing 
   at each other but in looking outward together in the same 
   direction.			--antoine de saint-exupery

	The psychology of adultery has been falsified by conventional 
	morals, which assume, in monogamous countries, that attraction to 
	one person cannot coexist with affection for another.  Everybody 
	knows that this is untrue.	--bertrand russell 

Love is like a snowmobile flying over the frozen tundra that suddenly 
flips, pinning you underneath.  At night, the ice weasels come.
					--matt groening

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.    --unknown

  Never follow somebody else's path; it doesn't work the same way
  twice for anyone...the path follows you and rolls up behind you
  as you walk, forcing the next person to find their own way.
					--j. michael straczynski

"This was a test of the tywong flaming system.  This was only a test.  Had
 this been a real flame, no lucid points would have been attempted."
					--jon blow, blojo@xcf.berkeley.edu

It doesn't TAKE all kinds; we just HAVE all kinds.
				--michael kalen smith, mksmith@taproot.win.net

How can you stand not to push your own head into the cereal bowl in the
morning and spare yourself the misery and ignominy of a life as a pitiable
circus clown?				--felix gallo, rhodesia@wixer.bga.com

Never let your friends drive you crazy; you know it's within walking
distance.   				--anonymous

We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please
rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.	--david grabiner

	When I get a little money I buy books; and if any
	        is left I buy food and clothes.	
		     --desiderius erasmus

Bad books on writing and thoughtless English professors solemnly tell
 beginners to WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW, which explains why so many mediocre
  novels are about English professors contemplating adultery.
						--joe haldeman

If you can't make someone happy, make them chocolate fudge cake.
		--duke euphoria "ian crowther" de'gryn, trans-galactic megapope
        		           		euphoria@junkpile.demon.co.uk

The only mortals who ever entered Barad-dur and came back unharmed in body and
soul was a pair of Iluvatar's Witnesses. Only days after their visit did Sauron
realize that the "Minas Tirith" he had bought from them was only a pamphlet.
						--thomas kettenring

Talent develops in quiet places; 
character, in the full current of human life.	--johann von goethe

	A Renaissance man diffuses to refine himself. 	--steve hug

So, let me get this straight. You're worried about this thing you 
call . . . copyright?  What does this strange word mean?
						--joshua babcock

	I'm surrounded by idiots of my own design.	--joel hodgson

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from ref fiat.
						--metlay

  A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile when a single man contemplates it, 
     bearing within him the image of a cathedral. 
				--antoine de saint-exupery, "flight to arras"

The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the
characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail.  The trouble with
most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as
quickly as possible.				--mark twain

		where subtlety is impossible, we will have to use cream pies.
                                	--david brin, _the uplift war_ 

Money talks.  Usually it says, 'Bend over.'	--solomon short

"My name is Homer Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to--ooh, donuts!"
						--anonymous

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
					--anonymous

Science is the tool of the Western mind and with it more doors can be
 opened than with bare hands. It is part and parcel of our knowledge and
obscures our insight only when it holds that the understanding given by it
 is the only kind there is. 		--c. g. jung (1875-1961)

	"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of
	empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."
  			--bill watterson, "calvin & hobbes"

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is
a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
							--albert einstein

    True words are not beautiful; 
    Beautiful words are not true. 
    Competence does not persuade; 
    Persuasion is not competent. 
    The sage is not learned; 
    The learned man is not wise. 
    The Man of Calling does not heap up possessions. 
    The more he does for others, 
    The more he possesses. 
    The more he gives to others, 
    The more he has. 
    The TAO of Heaven is `furthering without causing harm'. 
    The TAO of the Man of Calling is to be effective without quarrelling. 
    					--lao tzu 

Make the most of yourself, for that is all of you that there is.
						--unknown

"Oh, bother," said Pooh, as he formatted his life.	--unknown


A Discordian is anyone willing to look at the windmills and concede 
that they might be giants.
		--Holy Temple of the Sts. John, 
			from the Principia Discordia, SJG Edition.